Exploiting the Bodyguard
by I'maFrakkingViperJockey
Summary: Naruto is taken by the Akatsuki. When everything is resolved somewhat , Gaara is put to use as the blonde's bodyguard. Or 'babysitter', as he puts it. Eventual GaaNaru. Extended summary inside. Shounen-ai MxM Pairings
1. Chapter 1

Midnight was a daunting thing in Konohagakure no Sato

**Exploiting the Bodyguard.**

**Brought to you by Azarni-chan**

**Pairing: Eventual GaaNaru (only a few preliminary chapters before this happens)**

**Elongated Summary- **_**Warning- Contains plot spoilers!!: **_**(Heh. I just typed 'Cummary' instead of 'Summary'. Oops. Dirty mind. Hehe, 'Elongated Cummary' X3) Naruto is weakened on the Kyuubi's incarceration anniversary, and the Akatsuki think it ideal to nab him. Gaara decides to protect him, but arrives too late. After, he is assigned as Naruto's 'bodyguard'. Or, 'babysitter' as Gaara puts it. Far from being lovebirds, they are a pair of friends who grow closer through their interaction, and Gaara begins to feel…something other than the urge to maim towards our little blonde, and Naruto thinks Gaara looks 'yummy' in dark green. Written in bouts of insanity and fatigue. **

**Warnings: Sexual themes (non-con-ish), violence, language, graphic lemon in later chapters, Shounen-ai, slight Sasuke bashing and general insanity. Do not read without a ready supply of sugar and a mail-bomb to send to me when I leave you at cliffies. **

Prologue:

Midnight was a daunting time in Konohagakure no Sato. If you were awake at said time, you could hear the whisper of the trees, moaning of secrets only fathomable to them, oblivious to the dark, silent shapes moving among them, slipping through the watching Konoha nin with such ease and grace that not a flicker of movement could be seen as they passed.

Uzumaki Naruto was one such awake at the stroke of midnight. He was always awake at this time on this day; it was the anniversary of the day that the Kyuubi no Kitsune had been sealed inside his small, oblivious body.

It had been three years since Naruto had found out that the Kyuubi was sealed inside him, and he would never forgive Kakashi for telling him on his thirteenth birthday.

The moon shone brightly in the dark sky, and Naruto stood leaning against his windowsill looking out at it, a sad smile on his delicate face. The whisker scars on his cheeks shone faintly in the moonlight and the tan on his slender body was dulled to a beatific silver sheen, his hair turned to white by the grand luminescence shining down upon Konoha and through his window.

Clad only in a pair of mid-thigh length orange shorts and his nin-shoes, Naruto sighed and shoved gently off the sill, making his way slowly across his small bedroom to the small bathroom adjoining it.

If he had have lingered at the window a mere moment longer, he would have seen a shadow flit past and come to a halt on one of the nearby rooftops.

He made it three steps through the bathroom door before hearing a soft _swoosh _behind him, and, turning, the whole world went dark.

Chapter One- Approximately a week before the prologue takes place.

Sunagakure no Sato was a bustling, teeming place at any given time of the day. The Sunans weren't by any means a gentle people, but they were still a smoothly functioning one. Merchants screamed their wares, ninja flitted past on unknown business, couples screamed and made eyes at each other and money changed hands (under tabletops, in whorehouses and guardhouses and illegal slave houses alike.).

Yes, Suna, the village hidden amongst the sand, was a very prosperous city indeed, not lacking in funds or man-power. Their Kazekage was kind (as he could be), generous (to the point of publicly butchering five men involved in child sex slave rings), and moral (only because his siblings kept him from annihilating all the whorehouses and illegal sex rings). Yet the people loved him, and no complaints were made (whether this was from fear or respect is yet to be seen).

The village was happy (apart from numerous murders evidently taking place in side alleys), but in the Kazekage's Mansion, a heated, intense discussion was taking place.

"We cannot, under any circumstances, underestimate the Akatsuki. They are far more cunning than we give them credit for." The teal eyes of the speaker bore into those seated around the table in the council chamber, his soft, strong voice gripping them all in a vice as unbreakable as a dead man's fist, or the Sabaku Kyuu he wielded.

"We also cannot spare the forces of ANBU needed to venture such a jeopardous mission as you are proposing. With all due respect, Kazekage-sama." The elderly council member was just what he appeared; slick and devious. The Kazekage knew very well his true motives.

"Do not recite your bullshit at me, Hotari." The Kazekage snapped in a cold voice, "I know very well exactly why you don't want to proceed with this mission. That same reason is why _I _am in the seat of power and not _you. _So either agree with me or politely resign your seat on the council. I, personally, could not care less."

"Hotari's right, Kazekage-sama," said another, of same like as his fellow council member, but thicker build and several chins, "We don't have the nin to spare-"

"How dare you rattle off numbers at _me!" _the now livid (although for all the world you could not tell from his blank facial expression) Kazekage snapped amidst their ceaseless quarrelling, "One would think that _I, _of all people, would know how much nin we have to spare! Do not try and fool me, my _dear _council, or you may find yourselves suddenly twenty feet under an unmoving pile of sand. I would thank you to not underestimate _me, _either."

Another of the thouroughly stupid council members (because they must be, standing up to this particular Kazekage) began his futile argument, but the red-head blasted right over him.

"_IF_ we do not have enough ninja, _I _will go myself!"

Silence fell in the small circular chamber, the only noise audible being the barely contained snicker from Kankuro and the whack he received from Temari.

"Y-you what, Kazekage-sama?"

"Surely you cannot be seriously thinking of-"

"I can, and I am." Gaara cut him off coldly, "If you are so insistent about us not having enough ninja to complete this mission, then I will go."

He sent a venomous glare after this for punctuation and resumed his seat, not realising that he had stood somewhere throughout the argument, hands clenched on the edge of the table, knuckles white from the strain.

"Kazekage-sama," the only woman on the council, a portly middle-aged woman with grey hair and a weathered face, spoke, "You cannot risk your safety for a-"

"For what?" Gaara growled menacingly, his voice so low and soft that they had to strain to hear it, some even leaning forward in their seats, "For what, Nivin? Dare you say it?"

"Otouto-" Temari warned, stepping forward.

He put his hand out in a gesture to stop, and she proceeded no further, instead giving him a look that said he had some explaining to do later.

"Dare you say it?" he continued, sweeping his cold gaze over them all, "Dare you utter the name? I know what you are all thinking, and I ought to have you all executed for merely thinking it. I warn you, Council; _do not anger me, _for you will definitely regret it. I _will _go on this mission. Regardless of the amount of nin, I have decided that I will go. He is in danger. And _yes," _he addressed Nivin, "I fully intend to risk my safety- which, might I add, is much _safer _than _your's_ currently is- for a _demon." _He blatantly ignored the flinches that accompanied his lashing of the word, "Do you want to know why? Because _I_ am one, too. And if you cross me, you will very much be hoping that your mother never met your father. So I will go, for this _demon," _again, he ignored the flinches and winces, "with all of your good grace and blessings. You do not have a choice."

Indeed, they did not. Sand had mysteriously being winding its way around the room and now held fast all of the council members' ankles in an iron grip.

"Y-yes, Kazekage-sama," Hotari cringed as he stammered, "I acquiesce to your…request. You may leave with my b-blessing."

Immediately, the sand released his shaking legs.

It wasn't long before the others caved, too.

And perhaps, just perhaps, a small smile of triumph graced the beautiful face of the most formidable man in Suna.

And just perhaps, the little demon they had been discussing could be got to in time. The eve of the Kyuubi's incarceration anniversary was drawing closer, and the Kazekage of Suna was determined to thwart the Akatsuki in their mission with one, lethal mission of his own.

"This is an opportunity we simply cannot let pass up," Uchiha Itachi drawled arrogantly, "The Shukaku has slipped our grasp before, but the Kyuubi can do no such thing. It is weaker in this time frame than the sand demon."

"Itachi," hissed Orochimaru, placing his hands delicately on the rough tabletop, claws glinting menacingly in the moonlight, "You step outside your boundaries. Need I remind you that _I _am the leader in this organisation?"

He was met by a glaring silence from the other man.

"I understand," continued the snake-like sennin, "that the Kyuubi no Kitsune is weakened on the coming day, as _I _am the one who acquired that information." With a menacing glare, he continued where he had left off before the Uchiha had interrupted him, "We no longer require the power of the Shukaku; it has only one tail of power. The Kyuubi has nine. We are to believe that the Uzumaki brat has control over two at this point in time. However," he paused to silence any possible interrupters with a blank stare, "we also cannot underestimate the Kyuubi's power. Not to any degree. The night of the imprisonment anniversary shall be when we move in. Uzumaki will be weakened, and alone. That is when we shall strike. Have three squads ready by Thursday."

"But Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto interrupted, "that is only two days-"

"I am aware," Orochimaru grated slowly, "that it is only two days, you imbecile. The anniversary is in a week, and you will have three squads ready by then, or your will forfeit your life. Is that clear?"

Kabuto shuddered, "Yes, Orochimaru-sama."

"Good. Now, send me those rebels from Mist you captured. And bring my robe; I do not fancy ruining this outfit with their filthy blood."

"Don't you think it would be wise," Temari queried, "to send a message to Konoha's Hokage to let them know about this? They can put Uzumaki under heavy ANBU guard; the gods know that _they _have enough to spare."

"No." Gaara deadpanned, "The Akatsuki will more than certainly intercept any message we have to send; whether it be on paper or a nin. I will not risk them finding out that we are aware of their movements."

They were in the lavishly decorated Kazekage's suites, seated on pale cream coloured couches around a beautifully carved, round coffee table. Temari and Kankuro had followed Gaara back to his rooms after the meeting, and simply refused to leave, even through Gaara's (empty) death threats. They could be a very persuasive pair, especially armed with certain knowledge of the existence of a small, stuffed fox toy that Gaara had attempted to destroy on many occasions, but could not bring himself to maul, on the pretext that it had been very expensive. (Which his siblings knew very well that it translated to "It is special and I don't feel like killing it." Not to mention its uncanny resemblance to the totem of a certain little blonde boy they were currently discussing.)

"Well," Kankuro sighed, pushing himself off where he was leaning against the wall, "we'll just have to set off straight away and hope that we get there in time."

"We will." Gaara said stubbornly. Although to him, he had said it with authority; to his brother and sister he sounded like a pouting child.

"You really like him, don't you?" Temari smiled fondly…and tried not to laugh when she received a Death Glare.

"Who?" Gaara grated.

"Uzumaki." Kankuro jumped in on the teasing eagerly. Perhaps a little too eagerly, judging by the look he was receiving from his little brother.

"Are you asking for a premature death?" Gaara growled, "Because I would be all to happy to deliver one, _brother._"

Kankuro took a step back, putting his hands up in defence.

Temari snickered as she remembered a similar situation from when they were younger, when Gaara wasn't allowed to go to a Konohan festival their father, then Kazekage, had been invited to. Their little brother had thrown everything in his bedroom around the room with sand, threatening to take their fathers' head off. Needless to say, he went to the festival.

She stopped her reminiscing, however, when Gaara transferred his glare onto her.

"We're just saying, Otouto," she said kindly, "that he is your friend. And you don't want to lose him. Ne?"

"Aa."

They both breathed a sigh of relief.

"We will leave tonight. Ready yourselves." The red-head changed subjects so they could not taunt him any longer; they had a bad habit of doing so, and Gaara (since his minor change in personality) was simply unable to stop them, as he was lacking in certain…urges, towards his brother and sister any more. Such as killing them, and (unfortunately) severely maiming them.

"Hai, Kazekage-sama."

"Sure thing, little bro," Temari replied to the irritated-sounding order, "But will it just be us three? I mean, we are _hardly _enough to fight off the Akatsuki."

"We'll be enough." Was the reply.

Temari tried not to snicker; had that been a pout she had seen?

Gaara glared, and his siblings gave in, lest the Kazekage order them to stay behind out of irritation; at least, if they went along, they could protect him and watch his back.

Gaara, meanwhile, was happy that Temari hadn't tied him down to prevent him going. Even though she didn't know it, he wouldn't dream of using his sand to hurt her, or Kankuro. Not anymore.

Not since he had met Uzumaki Naruto, his friend.

Gaara smiled at the word. 'Friend'. He liked it.

The sun set over Konoha on the tenth day of Spring, the trees bathed in a soft light that drained the harshness of the sharp buildings sprawled throughout the expanse of the village. Vine trellises hung against almost every wall, and box gardens graced every window sill; the people of the Village Hidden in the Leaves were not fickle about their name. Greenery blossomed everywhere; on rooftops (which, surprisingly, didn't hamper the ninja flitting about), on walls, market stalls and fences.

The Godaime Hokage stood on the balcony leading into her office, breathing in the fresh spring air and cursing violently in her head.

The Council had petitioned her again, about Uzumaki Naruto.

They wanted him dead.

"_Our options were to use him as a weapon or to kill him." _Council Leader Otoki had said, _"We didn't use him as a weapon, thanks to that idiot Third Hokage, and he has lived too long. We must kill him."_

As if the poor boy didn't have enough on his plate, what with the constant beatings from the villagers, which the Council pretended not to notice, and the Kyuubi's imprisonment anniversary coming up!

Now the poor kid had his Council out to kill him, too!

Tsunade was suddenly very glad that it was _her _who was in charge around here; if one of the council had been, god forbid that Naruto would already be thoroughly, irrevocably dead.

_Thanks to whatever Gods exist that they don't know how weak he is around the anniversary, _she thought, hands gripping hard on the balcony's rail, _He'd be pinned to a tree somewhere with kunai and shuriken by now if those bastards _did_ know. Or if any of the ninja apart from Iruka and Jiraiya knew. _

She was thoroughly sick of all the complaints she got every day; of all the missions sent to her to assassinate the sunny little blonde. Sent, no less, by the villagers themselves! By some of Naruto's neighbours, even.

She ought to have them all mauled and hung up by the-

"Balls?" A voice sounded behind her, sounding highly amused, "That _would _be a good sight."

She whirled, "JIRAIYA!"

"You called?" The sennin smirked, twirling an ink pen in one of his hands, one of those horrible little notebooks in the other, no doubt filled with perverted ideas and graphic porn.

Even _she_ had to admit that the man was a good writer. Not that she had read any of those Icha Icha books. Voluntarily, anyway. There was that time when he had tied her to a chair and…

Now, now, she was getting sidetracked!

"Jiraiya!" she chirped (a little to squeakily for her liking), "You are…right! How did you know what I was thinking?"

"You were saying it out loud." He replied, "with an evil smile and the whole I'm-going-to-kill-many-people-for-fun aura you get sometimes. Do you have your period?"

"Do you want to die?"

"No, then." Jiraiya smiled widely, "So, why so melancholic? Did the Uchiha survive his last mission again? We _do _have to start giving him harder ones. I swear he keeps coming back alive just to spite us."

"No," she replied, sighing heavily, "Not the Uchiha. Although it would help if he suddenly got the urge to jump off a cliff. A very _high _cliff."

"Then…" Jiraiya pondered for a moment, placing the index finger of his left hand (still clutching the pen) to his chin in a comical picture of thought, "I know! The Council is pissing you off again. Right? Right?"

Tsunade sighed, moving to sit on the balconies' rail, "Yes. They petitioned again for assassination."

"Assassination?" Jiraiya queried, grinning, "Of who? That annoying pink-haired girl?"

"No, you idiot." Tsunade frowned, "Of Naruto."

The Sennin's grin immediately disappeared, "What? They want to-?"

"Kill Naruto off, yes."

"What did you tell them?!"

"I told them to fuck off and die. What do you think I said? 'Sure thing, here's a kunai to do the job! Make sure he's not breathing when you leave!'?"

"Okay, okay," Jiraiya held up his hands in defence, disturbed at the mental image of the sunny blonde with a kunai in his chest, draining all the life out of him, "But seriously, did you use those exact words?"

Tsunade grimaced, "'M afraid so."

Jiraiya grinned, "You're in trouble."

Tsunade grinned back, "Yeah, I know. Too bad I have about ten rules they don't know about lurking up my sleeve. Not to mention those old Jutsus I found in the Third's old storeroom. They won't know what hit them."

"Literally." Jiraiya barked a laugh, "So how do we stop the Council from making the kid have an 'accident'? Can we kill them all and say that Uchiha did it? Or that I slipped and I accidentally burped a fire Jutsu?"

"Jiraiya?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Naruto woke to darkness.

The blackness was all around him, and he couldn't for the life of him see anything.

Groaning, he tried to stretch his muscles- only to be encountered with the fact that he wasn't lying in his bed, and that his hands seemed to be tied together at the wrists.

_Wha…?_

Trying groggily to remember what had happened, he gasped when a shooting pain shot up his spine from his lower back. Groaning again, he wriggled around a little to find out his physical situation. With a jolt he realised that he wasn't lying down at all; his wrists were tied to what seemed to be a rung in the middle of the roof, and he was hanging with his feet just touching the ground.

How had he…that's right! He had been attacked in his bedroom, on the way to the shower. He had turned around to see a black blur- a ninja- and everything had went black. He couldn't feel a bump on his head, however.

_So they used drugs, then. _He thought, _That explains the grogginess. But…where am I? _

Blinking a few times to bring his night vision into focus, he glanced around him. He could just barely see the outlines of the room; it looked to be a small cell. In front of him, there seemed to be gaps all along the wall. Bars, perhaps?

He was in a jail cell.

It was dark, so he was probably in a dungeon, somewhere underground. And his lower back was hurting like hell.

_What did they do to me? _Naruto thought, distressed, _And who _are _they? _

Wriggling around until he felt the shooting pain again, Naruto winced, and came to the conclusion that it wasn't his back that was injured; it was inside him that was aching.

_So…they did…something. Whoever they are. _Naruto made a distressed mewling noise, and told himself to calm down and figure out his situation.

_Who would have taken me? No one wants me as a prisoner except…the Akatsuki! Could they have…of course they could have. Shit. So now I'm in the Akatsuki's lair, and the Gods know who's done what to me. I'm not too injured…yet. And I can't see more than two feet in front of me. So how do I get out before they try to take the Kyuubi?_

…And why hadn't the Kyuubi healed him yet?

He shouldn't by any means be feeling the pain from…whatever they had done to him, and yet…

_Did they already take it?_

Naruto started to panic. Had they taken the Kyuubi? But why would they still have kept him alive if they had? Surely, he must still be there…

Naruto had no other choice but to actually ask the demon. Much as he didn't like doing so, because it hurt when he talked to it, it looked like there was no other option. This presuming that it was even there. Which was why he was asking.

Naruto mentally slapped himself and told himself to get a move on.

'_K-Kyuubi? Are you…there?'_

Waiting for an answer, and fervently hoping there was one, Naruto tried not to wince as the echoes of his mental question rebounded back around the expanse of his head. Sometimes, he thought the demon made it hurt when speaking to him on purpose.

_**Yes, you idiot. Can't you feel me? You woke me up from a good sleep.**_

'_I…_couldn't_ feel you.' _Naruto was overwhelmed with a momentary wave of relief upon hearing the Kyuubi's grating mental voice.

_**What? **_

A moment of silence in which the blonde presumed the Kyuubi was investigating.

_**There is a…sort of boundary, blocking my chakra from flowing with yours. You are hurt, kit. What happened?**_

'_I…have no idea. I think they did something, with chakra. Whoever took me.'_

'_**Whoever took you'? What are you talking about?**_

'_The Akatsuki captured me. I'm in a jail cell.'_

_**Hmm. Yes, I…I can feel pain behind the seal that keeps me captive. Has someone violated you…? No, I don't think so. Perhaps with chakra probes. To block my chakra, perhaps. I can sense chakra burns inside you.**_

'_I'm worried. They're going to try and take you.'_

_**Would that be so bad?**_

'_Yes! It would kill me!'_

All the blonde heard was a chuckle, and he was alone in his cell once again, this time with a pounding headache.

_So, someone shoved chakra probes into my seal. _Naruto thought, _Ow. Though it makes sense that they blocked the Kyuubi's chakra. I think they blocked mine, too._

Experimentally, he wiggled one of his fingers, trying to form a miniature Rasengan.

Nothing.

So they had blocked his chakra, too. Confronted with the silent, black void in front of him, Naruto sighed forlornly. No one would care enough to come and get him.

He wondered what the Akatsuki would do to him once they were finished with extracting the Kyuubi. Then shuddered; his options weren't pretty. Orochimaru alone was daunting; Uchiha Itachi was a nightmare. He prayed that he would die quickly, and that no one innocent of this whole, stupid thing would get hurt in the process.

He'd go out with a fight, though. He still had a few tricks up his sleeve, even without the Kyuubi's chakra, or his own. He just hoped that they didn't bring anyone else into it; if any of the others were hurt because of him, he would never forgive himself.

_You'll just have to pick someone else to be Rokudaime Hokage, Tsunade-baa-chan. I'm sorry. I've let you down._

To Be Continued

**A/N: Well, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Any inquiries or complaints will be welcome either through reviewing or on eliasreb jpc .vic . edu . au (just delete all the spaces). I am rather fond of this story, as it is a few bars above anything I've posted so far. I just can't seem to be able to shake off the writers' block that has been plaguing me! X(. Anyway, updates may be rather infrequent, as I have year 12 and martial arts to uphold. Thank you for reading! Please drop me a review on what you thought, even if its only two words. XD thanks! **


	2. Chapter 2

Exploiting the Bodyguard

**Exploiting the Bodyguard.**

**Brought to you by Azarni-chan**

**Pairing: Eventual GaaNaru (only a few preliminary chapters before this happens), and a few others are introduced as the story continues; I won't put them here because they'll ruin the plot, but I hope they don't offend anyone! **

**Elongated Summary- **_**Warning! Contains plot spoilers!!:**_** (Heh. I just typed 'Cummary' instead of 'Summary'. Oops. Dirty mind. Hehe, 'Elongated Cummary' X3) Naruto is weakened on the Kyuubi's incarceration anniversary, and the Akatsuki think it ideal to nab him. Gaara decides to protect him, but arrives too late. After rescuing the blonde, he is assigned as Naruto's 'bodyguard'. Or, 'babysitter' as Gaara puts it. Far from being lovebirds, they are a pair of friends who grow closer through their interaction, and Gaara begins to feel…something other than the urge to maim towards our little blonde, and Naruto thinks Gaara looks 'yummy' in dark green. Written in bouts of insanity and fatigue. **

**Warnings: Sexual themes (non-con-ish), violence, language, graphic lemon in later chapters, Shounen-ai, slight Sasuke bashing and general insanity. Do not read without a ready supply of sugar and a mail-bomb to send to me when I leave you at cliffies.**

Chapter Two- The day after Naruto was captured.

"A day late?"

"Yes, Gaara."

"A _day _late?"

"Otouto-"

"A. Day. Late."

"Gaara, please," Temari implored, attempting to calm her little brother down.

"A _fucking _day late?!" Gaara almost screamed (to which Kankuro and Temari were slightly afraid, as screaming was completely out of character for the red-head.), "How can we be a _fucking day late?!_"

"Gaara," Kankuro soothed (or attempted to), "We came as fast as we could. There isn't anything more we can do-"

"And what?" Gaara growled dangerously, his voice rising in volume, "We wait here in comfort while he slowly dies?! No! I will not stand by while they torture him!"

"What can we do, Gaara?" Temari cried, tears coming to her eyes at seeing her brother- who was normally so lacking in showing emotions- so upset, "What can we do? It took too long to get here, there were too few of us, even pooling chakra for speed! The three of us couldn't have arrived in time anyway! I'm sorry, Gaara-kun. All we can do is wait."

"No." Gaara replied stubbornly, "No! I will _not _wait! I'm going to go to the Akatsuki's lair and fucking get him back."

Temari and Kankuro froze in shock.

"You…what?" Kankuro sat down on the small couch in their Konohan guest suite, his face a mask of shock and confusion.

"Otouto-san, I…" Temari scrunched up her face in worry, "I don't think that's a good idea. We three can't possibly have a hope of infiltratin-"

"Then I'll go to the Hokage." Gaara began pacing the suite's lounge room restlessly, a stubborn set to his brow, "Naruto is Konohan. They have to help, by law. The Hokage will get a team together. She _must_."

"Let me guess," Kankuro interjected his brother's angry tirade, "If she doesn't, you're going to go around killing people. Again."

Gaara glared, which was translated as a nod by his siblings.

"Well shit!" Kankuro exclaimed, throwing his hands up, "This is just like last time, when father wouldn't let you go on the Kill Kabuto Mission. You killed, what, thirty of his men before he gave in?"

Gaara glowered, "This isn't fucking funny, Kankuro."

Sand swirled around the room agitatedly, licking threateningly at his brother's feet.

Kankuro held his hands up in defence, drawing his feet shakily onto the couch with him, conveniently away from the shifting tendrils of sand.

Temari tried not to notice as one of the beautiful ornamental statues in the corner of the room was slowly, agonisingly crushed by a multitude of the most formidable weapon she had ever seen in action. It didn't help her imagination that the statue closely resembled the human form, down to smiling face. Or that said imagination was turning the statues' smile into a grimace of agonising pain.

Temari looked pointedly away, trying to think of sex to distract her. And cursing herself for not being a boy; she didn't have a one track mind.

Gaara had stopped pacing, and was currently sitting on the large armchair in the corner of the room. He looked like a pissed off King, with his glower and one leg thrown over the other, sand swirling behind and around him.

Temari and Kankuro were suddenly very glad that he was their brother and not their enemy. No matter how skilled ninja they both were, they wouldn't dream of standing a chance against Gaara.

Silence.

Then, a soft, broken whisper.

"We have to find him."

Temari and Kankuro looked around from where they had both been staring (at the sand swirling like an angry shroud behind and above the chair), transferring their gaze to their little brother.

Now, in stark contrast to a moment before, he was more like a frightened child than a King. Curled up in the chair with his arms around his legs, he looked incredibly small and extremely vulnerable. His sand was still shifting about him in the same manner, but now it seemed to be more a defence than a weapon.

Temari sighed forlornly and stood, walking over to where her little brother was beginning to silently sob on the chair. Putting her arm around him and sitting on the arm of the chair, she held Gaara close to her, and rubbed soothing circles on his back, cooing comforting noises into his ear.

His face was obscured by his hair and legs, which he still held close to his body with his arms, but the stifled, agitated sobs coming from him were unmistakable; their little brother was crying. Kankuro stood and made his way over, too. Putting his arm comfortingly on Gaara's shoulder, Kankuro knelt down on the other side of the armchair, feeling very much the older brother; something he had never before needed to experience, as, before meeting Naruto, Gaara had shunned all human contact, and Temari was more than capable of looking after herself, beating the brains out of any boy who tried to force her into anything.

"We will, Gaara," he reassured softly. "We will."

Both now intent on getting Gaara's way with the Hokage, even if it meant maiming her, Kankuro and Temari shared a look over their distraught brother's head; they would retrieve Uzumaki Naruto and bring him back to Gaara. Or they would die trying.

For the second time that day, Tsunade found herself cursing in her head; this time at the three people standing before her.

The Suna Siblings had marched into her office a little before noon, not issuing so much as a hello, and she would bet an arm on it that they had left all of her guards either unconscious or dead outside her office door.

They had arrived early in the morning, and had made their way over to Naruto's apartment. They hadn't even registered their presence (which was compulsory for foreign ninja, especially if one of them was a Kage), and she had only found out about them when they were escorted to her office by seventeen (it had taken that many to subdue them) of her ANBU, who all looked to be extremely annoyed, being covered in sand and all. When she had cast an imploring, disapproving glance at the red-head, he had only smirked at her.

Then they had had the gall to tell her that they were here to rescue on of _her _nin! A nin in training, but a ninja no less.

How she had spluttered when she found out that they were here to rescue _Naruto, _who was only the weakest ninja in Konoha at this point in time, due to the anniversary. It couldn't be a coincidence.

Upon finding out that he had already been taken (a fact which had left her devastated, causing many hours of crying and screaming, and approximately all of the Clan Heads' at once telling her_ not _to send all the ninja at her disposal out to find him and slaughter any captors that survived the rescue, because it was more than likely that they had taken him to their lair, of which they knew not it's location. Though, in retrospect, correct, she suspected that a few of them had only ganged up on her because they wanted to give the Akatsuki time to kill the blonde.), the two eldest Sand siblings had been forced to restrain their brother from killing her, while sand gushed around her office and ruined all of her painstakingly filed reports.

They had retreated to the suite she had given them use of (as they had refused to leave. Or, rather, the little one had refused to leave.) and had not emerged since. Until now.

They stood before her, this time _all _looking determined to have their way, not just the red-head, this time.

_Oh, great, _she thought, _what now? Do they want thirty virgins to slaughter?_

Then she chided herself; Jiraiya had too much influence over her thoughts.

"Well?" she asked tersely, glad that they hadn't forced entry this time (with Temari's loud screaming, they hadn't needed to; most of her ANBU had fled), "What is it this time? I told you that we couldn't send out a squadron to find him. I was overruled."

"Yes," Temari smirked, "but they didn't say anything about a _team._ And we are absolutely determined to set out with a team of your ninja to find him and rescue him. We will not take no for an answer. As I said, we are _determined. _Absolutely unwavering."

"Yes, I can see that." Tsunade muttered under her breath. Then, out loud, "Well, if you insist. I guess that would work. If _you _initiate it. I have been relieved of the power to issue such orders concerning this particular…case."

"Yes." Gaara turned abruptly as soon as he heard the slightest tone of affirmation in her voice.

He only made it two steps before his older sister grabbed hold of his sleeve, preventing him from leaving.

"Thankyou, Hokage-sama," she said, unceremoniously yanking her brother into place beside her, causing a choking noise to issue from his throat before he jerked his arm away from her firm grasp, trying to regain his composure and momentarily lost killing-intent aura, "But we need you to make a few…unofficial suggestions on just _who _we should, ah, recruit."

"Well, yes," Tsunade said, catching on, and very pleased that she would be able to get _her _way, too; Naruto would not be left to die, and that was all she needed, "Iruka, for one. Jiraiya, too. He'd sneak along anyway. Hyuuga Neji? He has the Byakugan, his bloodline. A very formidable fighter. And Nara Shikamaru; he may be infernally lazy, but when roused to action, he is a genius. I'd say Inuzuka Kiba, but he is away on another mission, with Rock Lee, Ino and Tenten. Uchiha Sasu-" Gaara growled audibly, "-okay, no Uchiha. How many is that, four? Including you three, that's seven. Actually, on second thought, wipe Jiraiya. I need his spy network here with me; we might discover something through the Akatsuki's movement. And you'd be better off without his roaming fingers. No gender is safe from that lecher. Take Hatake Kakashi, instead. His Sharingan should help. That's…" a moment while she counted (yes, she had to count), "…that's still seven. That okay?"

Gaara went through all the elected people in his head. Iruka, that mothering type of man always doting on Naruto, and Nara seemed like good choices. Iruka was a high level ninja, and having the ability to control your opponent could come in handy; especially if he could do more than one at the same time. Hyuuga Neji was a bit weird, always going on about fate, but he seemed okay. That Byakugan would really be helpful, coupled with Nara's shadow Jutsus; they could work together on silent killing of sentries. And Hatake Kakashi…he was the silver-haired hentai ninja prodigy, and Naruto's sensei. Gaara reluctantly agreed that the Sharingan could really be an asset. He'd have liked to have the Lee kid along; Gaara had been impressed with his Taijutsu. But one could only take what one could get. And what they were getting was adequate, in his ruling.

"Yes."

This time, Temari was too slow, and Gaara walked abruptly out.

"Well," Tsunade said, inwardly hoping that the Council didn't get wind of this, "He certainly is grumpy."

"Yeah," Temari smiled sadly, "Naruto means a lot to him. They're friends. Uzumaki was the one that changed him."

"Yeah," Tsunade smiled back, "He's changed us all. For better or for worse, that kid has touched all of our lives in one way or another. Just get him back to me, to us. Okay?"

"Sure thing, Hokage-sama." Temari whipped up her fan and walked briskly out of the room with Kankuro beside her, craning his neck to make sure Gaara wasn't killing anyone for no reason again, "Sure thing."

Hyuuga Neji had decided, against all previous ideals, that he hated this particular Jutsu.

Uzumaki Naruto of Team Seven had once shown him this Jutsu, and Neji had been politely interested ever since to see if he could pull it off; which, of course, being a Hyuuga, he could.

It turned out, however, that he couldn't. His first, confident try had resulted in him simply standing there, looking stupid. His team mate, Tenten, had commented that it may be that he was too girly, and had received a blank glare in return. Rock Lee had (making the right decision) backed off a full kilometre to escape his wrath.

Yes, this Jutsu was far more trouble than it was worth; especially since Uzumaki could do it, and he apparently couldn't. Yet, he had to admit that the blonde had gotten rather stronger these past few years; what with intensive training from Jiraiya-sensei and all of those hours spent training after dark (Neji knew of these long, tiresome training hours that Naruto had inflicted upon himself because he had run into the boy himself one night, whilst carting a scroll from his uncle to the Hokage. The blonde had been so exhausted he was close to collapsing, and when Neji suggested he go home to sleep, he had received an indignant glare in return).

Deciding to try again, because he couldn't see himself ever failing at anything he set out to master, Neji aligned his chakra and took a deep breath to centre himself.

_One last try, _he thought, letting the breath slowly out.

"Sexy no Jutsu!"

A cloud of smoke appeared, and Neji opened his eyes, having closed them on initiation of the Jutsu in trepidation. The smoke dispersed, and the Hyuuga looked down at himself, hoping to see a lithe, slender figure graced with gentle curves. And seeing-

Himself, in his usual, white-clad, annoyingly _male _form.

Yes, his polite interest with this Jutsu had definitely turned into a competitive obsession. And he still hadn't got it right, after a whole four months of trying grievously hard. The blonde apparently did have a few tricks up his sleeve; maybe he was missing something. But no, he couldn't have missed anything! Not with the Byakugan! He had seen every chakra flow within the small ninja, and was sure that he had done everything accurately. Yet why couldn't he get it?

Maybe Tenten was right, and he _was _just too girly.

"Maybe it's not working because you're already female, Hyuuga. Or perhaps it is impossible for you to be 'sexy'."

Neji whirled, to be confronted by none other than-

"Sabaku no Gaara."

A feral grin met him in return, "Hyuuga Neji."

"How may I help you?" Despite not much liking the red-head, Neji still found it very hard not to be polite. And, consequently, he was currently inwardly cursing this irritating family trait.

"You can come." Gaara left it at that, feeling no need to elaborate.

"Excuse me?" Neji was rather aghast; had Sabaku no Gaara just suggested that he…?

"You can come." Gaara repeated, not looking like he was going to extend the sentence any time soon.

"He means," came a voice from somewhere in the trees behind Gaara, "that you would be doing us a favour if you agreed to accompany us."

A rustle in the leaves, and someone stepped through them; blonde hair and a giant fan. Temari, then. Temari walked forward, stopping at her brother's side, "We are initiating a mission," she continued, leaning languorously on her fan, "to retrieve a missing ninja."

"A missing nin?" Neji questioned, as the other sibling- the one with purple lines on his face- came to stand on the other side of the red-head, "But why would they send us to retrieve an outlaw? We aren't Jounin level yet."

"Not a missing nin," Gaara said, and Neji could swear that he saw a pained scowl on his pale face, "A captured nin."

"A literally missing nin." The purple-lined ninja said, "He was taken; we do not know where he is. We are initiating a mission, as Temari said, to retrieve this ninja. And we are asking you to come with us."

"Why?" Neji was suspicious, "Why me? And you are from Suna. Why would Sunagakure no Sato need assistance from a Konohan Chunin? And the Kazekage come to recruit, no less. You have to admit that it is a rather apprehensive situation."

Gaara scowled, this time in annoyance, "Because your Hokage cannot send a team to retrieve him, we have come in her stead. It is not illegal for a foreign village in an alliance to help their allied village."

"I do not understand." Neji looked truly puzzled, so Gaara thought killing him would probably, unfortunately, be a mistake.

"The missing nin is Konohan." Gaara said, irritated. He didn't want to acknowledge the fact that it was Naruto in front of one of his village ninja, as they had treated him so badly in the past.

"Konohan?" Neji repeated, feeling incredibly stupid, "But why…I don't understand what you are trying to tell me. There are no Konohan nin that are missing or that have been taken."

"Yes, there is." Temari interrupted before he could go on, "But your Hokage has been forbidden, we are guessing, by the Council, to tell you. We contrive that the Jounin will know. Or the relevant Jounin, anyway."

"Then who?" Neji was thoroughly confused now; why would the Council forbid Tsunade-sama from telling them about a missing nin? It was compulsory, by law, that every Genin, Chunin and Jounin be alerted when a nin was captured, killed, or banished.

"This ninja is special," Gaara practically spat, "special enough that your Council don't want word getting out that one of the Konohan Chunin was kidnapped."

"A Chunin?!" Neji was definitely interested now, "Who? Please, you must tell me!"

Gaara growled. Yes, he growled, and a feral cast entered his green eyes, "Your demon."

"Wh-at?" Neji stuttered mid-word; a demon?, "We don't have…a demon."

"Yes," Gaara hissed, "You do. And the Akatsuki took him last night."

Temari laid her hand on his shoulder to calm him, and took over the explanation, at the same time initiating a sound-blocking Jutsu around the four of them, "Do you know the story of your Yondaime?"

"The Yondaime Hokage?" Neji asked, now so baffled that he thought he must be losing some very important brain functions, "Yes; he died killing the Kyuubi no Kitsune fifteen years ago."

"Yes, that story." Temari smiled cruelly, "It was a lie."

Neji did a double take, "What?! A lie?"

"Yes," Gaara took over again, seemingly calm. Yet rage boiled quietly behind his bright eyes as he spoke, "Fifteen years ago, Konohagakure no Sato was attacked by the Kyuubi no Kitsune, the Nine-tailed Fox Demon. Your Yondaime Hokage knew that he could not defeat it; instead, he gathered up all of his power and killed himself to capture it, sealing it inside a baby boy."

"But," Neji interrupted, brow creased, "that can't be true-"

"The baby was meant to be a hero," Gaara continued, cutting him off, "That was the Yondaime's intention. But he was hated, feared and treated like a monster. And now, fifteen years later, he is still treated as such. No-one sees him for the person he is; all they see is the demon inside him."

"I don't' understand." Neji was getting frustrated with the amount of confusion he felt himself wallowing in, "What does this have to do with-"

"That baby boy," Gaara continued, eyes cold and hard with his own memories of the blonde ninja, of the sad smiles and heartbroken looks the blonde emitted, of the stones thrown after him and the cries of 'Bakemono!' and 'Gaijin!' following him in the streets, "was Uzumaki Naruto."

Heavy silence fell on the small clearing, and the Hyuuga's normally calmly stoic face looked as if it would explode from shock. Gaara, Temari and Kankuro stood, waiting, for him to gather himself and wrap his head around the astounding new information he had just received.

"B-but, I," was all he could manage, "I d-don't…I…"

"You never knew," Gaara interjected softly, "because there is a law stating that no one is allowed to mention it. There are many laws in your village concerning Naruto. He is not allowed, for instance, to raise fist, weapon or chakra against any of the villagers, even to defend himself. Half the shops here will not serve him, and half let him in only to have him severely beaten before being thrown out onto the street. His rent is triple that of anyone else, and he has to pay twice as regularly. He does not even have locks on his doors. He is only paid half of what everyone else receives on missions, and half of the meagre money he does receive is taken from him when he is mugged, which is at least twice a day. You do not have any idea what Uzumaki Naruto goes through in this village; the Council prefer it that way."

Neji gaped, "So…if Naruto has that…then the Council didn't tell us…and…"

The Sand Siblings waited patiently for the Hyuuga's head to finish imploding.

"Naruto is the one that has been taken!" Neji sat down heavily, mind reeling, and Temari knelt next to him, placing a hand around his back for support, lest he pass out; it was a great deal of mind-blowing information to take in.

"Yes," Temari said comfortingly, as if to a small child, "Naruto has been taken."

"By the Akatsuki?" Neji seemed to be quickly gaining his sense back, and slowly stood, "But they have had countless opportunities when Naruto has been on missions to capture him. Why would they act now? And the Council has banned Tsunade-sama from telling us, you say? I had no idea that he was treated that badly…"

Gaara stepped forward, a sad look in his eyes, face otherwise expressionless aside from a dark frown, "We need your skills, your Byakugan. We are setting out, without your Council's knowledge, to find and retrieve Uzumaki Naruto. Preferably alive. Will you come?"

Neji faced him, pausing to search his eyes for a moment before speaking, "I suspect you will not take no for an answer?"

"No."

"Very well, then. I will come."

Temari smiled as Gaara turned abruptly again and vanished into the trees, presumably to find the next candidate on the list, "You were going to say yes anyway, weren't you?"

"Yes." Neji replied, "As soon as I heard Naruto's name."

"I thought so." Temari pondered for a minute while Kankuro took off after the red-head, "He really does mean a lot to all of you, doesn't he?"

Neji smiled crookedly, and Temari, who would have thought that something as incomplete and uneven as a crooked smile would look out of place on a Hyuuga, thought he looked natural and beautiful, "Yes, he does."

The simple, short, and honest answer was all that Temari needed to know just how much Naruto affected everyone around here, even though he was abused so much. It was good to know that there were people among this village that wanted to help Naruto, even after finding out about the Kyuubi that was imprisoned inside him.

"Let's go." Temari began to walk toward the trees, carting her fan along with her, "Gaara gets impatient easily. He won't wait for us."

Neji followed, thinking that if there was one honourable thing he was going to do in his life, it would be to bring Uzumaki Naruto back to Konoha safe, alive, and happy.

It was upon this that he vowed to protect Naruto from Konoha's abuse from now on- regardless of the law or the consequences he would have to face.

He had decided that friendship was far more important than pride. Especially a friendship as special and cherished as Uzumaki Naruto's.

Iruka was somewhat easier to find; with Neji acting as a guide, they found him sitting by the Hero's Memorial, a grim, sad frown on his face.

"Iruka-sensei." Neji called out, stopping at a respectful distance away from the Jounin, the Sand Siblings stopping just behind him.

Iruka looked up, about to tell whoever had disturbed him to leave, as he was mourning, but when he saw who it was (namely, when he saw Sabaku no Gaara, Sunagakure's Kazekage), he paused, frowning, "What are you three doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Su-?"

"We are initiating a mission," Gaara wasted no time with explanations and cut right to the chase, "to retrieve a captured nin."

"You're setting out to get Naruto?" Iruka asked, overriding anything the other four had to say, "But Tsunade hasn't said anything…unless it is unofficial. You have her unofficial permission, yes? So the Council won't find out? And now you've recruited Neji," he pointed vaguely to the Hyuuga, "and have come to ask me, too? I'm in. When do we leave?"

Gaara gaped. Or, Gaara did whatever was closest to a gape for him (i.e. he actually opened his mouth a tiny fraction). "Yes. We leave in three hours."

"So soon?" Neji asked, whilst Iruka didn't look in the least surprised.

"We have not a minute to spare." Gaara deadpanned, turning to Iruka, who was now standing, "Where do we find Hatake Kakashi?"

"Kakashi?" Iruka pondered for a moment, "Good choice. He's probably in his apartment." He wrote down the address and handed it to Neji, "Where are we meeting?"

"The West Gate." Temari decided, smiling when she met no argument from her brothers, "In three-"

"Hours, I know." Iruka turned, walking towards the trees, clearly in a hurry to start packing, "I'll see you there. By the way," he called over his shoulder, "pack for cold weather, Hyuuga. We're going to the highest reaches of the Mist country." With that, he disappeared into the trees.

"Don't remember when we put _him _in charge." Temari grumbled under her breath, stung from being cut off so abruptly.

"How did he already know about Naruto?" Neji asked, checking the address on the paper.

"Your Hokage probably told the Jounin who were close to Uzumaki." Kankuro answered, coming over to check the paper, "Where's this?"

"I'll lead," Neji replied politely, "If that is okay. You three don't really know where you are in Konoha, I take it?"

"Apart from Uzumaki's, the Hokage's Tower and the Hotel Suite the Hokage puts us up in when we visit, no." Temari replied, moving aside for Gaara, who was walking purposefully toward Neji.

Neji, seeing the red-head's face as he made him way towards him, stepped back a pace and put his hands up, "Okay, we are going. No need to try and scare me off. You need me, remember?"

Gaara merely stopped in his tracks and glared at the Hyuuga to get a move on. Neji did so, once again checking the paper for directions to Kakashi's apartment.

This was going to be an interesting trip, indeed.

Hatake Kakashi's home was in a trendy little apartment block situated in the good part of town. Konoha wasn't by any means class oriented, but there were slightly better off parts than others; for example, there was the section where taverns and bars ruled, then there was the section where all of the Clan's Estates were, and next to it, the apartment blocks given to people with a little more money than others (i.e. one Hatake Kakashi, ninja prodigy). Naruto's part of town was next to this one, in between the 'good' apartment block area and the tavern/bar part of the village. Evidently, Naruto's area was in the 'bad' part of town.

Neji led them briskly through the streets leading toward the apartment block, trying fervently to ignore the heated glares his back was receiving from Sabaku no Gaara, probably because he wasn't walking fast enough. Even though, to the shame of his dignity, he was almost jogging as it was. Neji had to restrain himself from commenting that the red-head couldn't possibly go any faster anyway with that gigantic gourd of sand on his back; he valued his manhood too much to let it go just yet.

Sighing inwardly in relief as he spotted the building, Neji gestured with a dignified flourish in it's direction, "Our destination is just up ahead."

"What are you, a tour guide?" Kankuro jibed, grinning wolfishly (which was, consequently, the exact moment in which Neji decided that he was weird), "If we look to our right will we see a fountain featuring three dancing elves?"

"Actually," Neji said curtly, "if you look to your right, you will see Hokage Mountain, featuring the carved visages of our four previous Hokages." Then, for good measure, "Complimentary mints will be featured in the shapes of the Hokages, if you wish."

Kankuro glared and laughed at the same time. Temari giggled (although it was rather scary, not cute), and Gaara simply glared, as they had come to a standstill.

Quickly picking up his pace, they finally cleared the door into the foyer with Neji at a near run.

NARUCHANWOULDLIKETOANNOUNCETHATTHISISAPAGEBREAK!ANDHE'SLURKINGATYOURWINDOW.

"What number?" Temari asked, peering over the Hyuuga's shoulder.

Neji peered at the piece of paper (now crumpled, due to Gaara's spontaneous fits of anger which involved flying sand shuriken), "Number twenty nine."

Peering down the hallway they were standing on (having made it alive through the foyer and up the stairs to the second floor), Neji saw that the number nearest to them was seventeen. They began walking, Kankuro counting doors as they passed them before Temari's fan dissuaded him.

When they came to twenty nine, they paused, looking up at the door with a range of facial expressions. Neji looked at the door with an expression of disturbed trepidation, his eyes focused on a poster stuck next to the room number featuring two (rather naked) people in a…compromising position. Temari looked at the door with an expression tilting between the wish to maim (which Gaara probably learnt from her) and the wish to be carrying a camera, her eyes unfocused, but her ears zoned in on a loud series of moans coming from behind the closed plank of suspicious wood. Kankuro looked at the door with an expression of appraisal, having noticed the same poster Neji was staring at, and Gaara simply glared, and was actually tapping his foot.

Neji, tearing his gaze away from the poster (which, for some reason, reminded him of Jiraiya-sennin talking about 'research'), cleared his throat and gestured to Temari, who knocked on the door.

The moaning, however, didn't stop.

Temari's mouth turned into a thin line as she counted to ten, then knocked again.

Still, the moaning continued, a laugh even emitting from the depths of the apartment.

"Okaaay," Kankuro commented, shifting his puppet on his back into a more comfortable position, "this is getting weird. How about we-"

Gaara pushed past him, and walked through the door. Or, it appeared that he walked through the door; in actuality, his sand blew the door off it's hinges and sent it to land in the apartment somewhere, then Gaara stepped through the doorway. Either way, the door was open, and the other three wasted no time in crossing the threshold.

Gaara, it seemed, was following the moaning, and ended up leading them to stand in front of a closed door to the left of a small, neat lounge room.

Kankuro coughed, "Yes, the, ah, noise is definitely coming from in here."

"Thank you, Mr. State the Obvious." Temari snapped, thwacking him upside the head.

Neji bit his lip, not comfortable with trespassing. Especially if Kakashi-sensei was doing something…private.

"Ahh," they all froze as the volume of the noises intensified from the other side of the door, "That f-feels…mmm…"

"That's…" Temari whispered into the silence that followed between the four companions outside the door, "…that's a guy moaning in there. And…it's not Kakashi."

"If it's not Kakashi," Kankuro whispered back, "then who the fuck is-"

Gaara, apparently not one for subtlety, reached over and roughly pushed open the door, calling out flatly as he did so, "Kakashi, we need you to come with us."

Temari, Kankuro and Neji promptly paled in utter shock at the scene before them; the people in the room were just as pale. Gaara was the only one with an normal complexion; he was simply standing there, waiting for Kakashi to stand up and address him.

Kakashi was leaning over the bed at the back of the room, with one knee between the legs of his (male) visitor. His right hand was splayed over the other person's naked chest; his shirt had been thrown on the floor, along with Kakashi's Jounin vest and a few stray kunai. The silver-haired man's mask had been partially pulled down, revealing a nicely-shaped nose and the corner of a seemingly perfectly sculpted mouth, now open in shock at having received unexpected visitors in the middle of some…private escapades.

None of them was more surprised, however, than the shirtless young man underneath Kakashi.

And none of them except Temari had the shock to match him.

"SHIKAMARU?!" The blonde kunoichi screeched, eyebrows almost disappearing into her hairline, "What the _hell_ are you…? _You_ and Kakashi are…? I think I'm going to explode!"

Kankuro, in probably the worst turn of events ever, began to laugh, "Hahaaaaaaaa! This is hilarious! You were dating my sister, and we find you in here, with _Kakashi? _I think I'm going to go mad! She's so gonna kill you, man!"

Bad idea.

"KANKURO!" Temari whirled on her brother, fan open and ready for action, "SHUT THE FUCK UP, OR YOU DIE!"

Neji backed slowly out of the room, deciding that this was more than enough shock for one day; Gaara could handle it from here on out.

And handle it was what Gaara did.

"Stop."

With one, quiet word, he silenced his siblings, and they, too, backed out of the room, Temari sending venomous glares over her shoulder at Shikamaru, who was still immobile on the bed, Kakashi still unmoving above him.

Gaara turned to face the Jounin and the brown-haired Chunin, who's hair was undone and falling around his bare shoulders, "Do you have an explanation?" His quiet voice seemed to replace the ability to move into the two on the bed, and Kakashi moved gingerly off Shikamaru and sat on the bed next to him, replacing his mask to it's previous position.

"We do not need to explain." Kakashi said softly, confidently, "We have done nothing wrong."

"We don't need to explain," Shikamaru repeated, "except to your sister. Kankuro's right; I-I did sleep with Temari, once." At Gaara's menacing glare, he quickly continued, "B-but we weren't in love, and we decided that we would maybe do it again when she was in the village next. We didn't make commitments. We didn't decide that we were a couple or anything! I do have to apologise to her, though; I should have written to let her know that I'd…found somebody else."

Kakashi tilted his head and (probably) smiled, placing a hand comfortingly on his young lover's shoulder, "We haven't broken any laws. It's not illegal. He's sixteen and I'm twenty six. He's legal, and there's no age gap that is illegal, in Konoha. We've only probably broken social views, and we frankly don't' care."

Gaara nodded, once, "We don't care. What you do in your own home is your own business. It is good that you are here, however, Nara; we need to ask you both something. You will, however, want to apologise to Temari. She holds grudges."

The other three, seeing that Gaara wasn't going to kill anyone, had returned to the room, and Temari stood by the door, biting her lip and looking down at the floor uncertainly.

Shikamaru stood, "Temari, I…I really am sorry." Walking over to stand in front of her, he refrained from making any physical contact in fear of upsetting her, "I should have written, or visited, or sent word…I-"

"No," Temari cut in, looking up, "It's okay. We weren't sworn lovers, and you _should _have written, but you didn't _have _to. And I know what being caught up in love is like. It's happened to me, too."

"Good," Gaara deadpanned, not really caring that he was cutting in to a sentimental, private moment; all he cared about was finding Naruto (yeah, we forgot about him for a minute there, didn't' we?), "Now we will talk about the mission."

"Mission?" Shikamaru repeated, returning to his perch beside Kakashi and replacing his crumpled shirt on the way, "What mission?"

"We are going to retrieve Naruto." Neji spoke up when Gaara didn't seem to be forthcoming with information; supposedly he was sulking because it was taking too long, "From the Akatsuki."

"N-Naruto?" Shikamaru stuttered, "But-what?"

"Naruto was taken last night," Kakashi explained to his confused lover, "By the Akatsuki. Supposedly these four have instigated a mission to find him. Against the Council's wishes, I take it?" This last being directed toward Gaara, who stared blankly in response.

"Actually," Temari replied for her still-silent brother, "The Council don't know. The Hokage thought it a better idea not to tell them."

"Iruka-sensei said that we would be travelling to the northernmost area of the Mist's land," Neji spoke up softly, "And to dress warm."

Kakashi scrunched up his brow in thought and stood, "And you are here to ask me to come with yo-?"

"You didn't tell me?" Shikamaru cut in quietly, dangerously, "I've been here all day, and you didn't tell me that Naruto had been captured by the fucking Akatsuki?"

"Shikamaru," Kakashi tried to soothe, "Now's not the ti-"

"Now _is _the time, Kakashi!" Shikamaru stood from the bed and turned to face his lover, "You brought me here for sex, and didn't even _bother _to tell me that one of my closest friends was taken! I can't _believe _you! Do you ever think about _anything _else except fucking?"

Kakashi sat on the bed with eyes opened slightly in shock (Kankuro inwardly commented that a lot of people had been in shock the last few hours), mouth more than likely open under the mask he always wore (except when he was doing Shikamaru, it seemed.)

"Shika," Kakashi attempted to soothe his irritated partner, "It's not like that; I didn't want to tell you straight away because I knew it would upset you-"

"No! I don't think so," Shikamaru retorted, shoving a finger into Kakashi's chest angrily while the rest looked on, bemused and rather uncomfortable, "You didn't want to ruin the mood! All you care about is getting in between my legs! I don't-"

But he was cut off by Kakashi's lips, which had pressed against his open ones and were currently effectively silencing him. The four intruders shifted uncomfortably when they heard Shikamaru moan into the silver-haired Jounin's mouth.

Neji coughed politely and the two separated, Shikamaru looking weak at the knees and no longer prone to arguing or being anything other than a big, drooling pile of mush.

"Are you coming, or not?" Gaara interjected into the silence that followed, "Because you might as well. You can't live here anymore."

"What?" Kakashi looked puzzled, "Why not?"

"You no longer have a front door."

Kakashi scowled under his mask, and agreed to come. Shikamaru glared until Temari told him he was on the list too, then immediately brightened and ran off to begin packing. Luckily, he missed Neji's comment on how he was sparkling so much that he resembled Rock Lee, and Neji got to keep his luscious locks of hair.

Gaara silently sighed; this was going to be a long trip.

To Be Continued

**A/N: Okay, end of chapter two! Yay! Again, any inquiries or complaints will be welcome either through reviewing or on . edu . au (just delete all the spaces). Now, the questions are 'Will Naruto be alive when they get there?' (Gasp) and 'Will Kakashi be able to refrain from fucking Shikamaru into the ground every time they make camp, and will he manage to escape Gaara's Sabaku Kyuu?' **

**Hope you enjoyed, remember to drop me a line! XD**


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